FL, Jacksonville, PGA, Ponte Vedra, Ruth's Chris, Spark's Steakhouse, The Players Championship, TPC Sawgrass 1 Comment

The Players Championship is not a 5th Major

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Castellanomug

Got whacked after a last meal in a real steak house

They were talking fifth major back in the early 80’s when talk about it seemed like pure marketing with the lifespan of Jerry Pate’s colored balls (I did like the optic yellow ones).

The problem is that even with some longevity, the whole tournament doesn’t have the sentimentality and frank full on schmaltz. The Ken Burns effect black and white photo drifts of Francis Ouimet, Gene Sarazen, Sam Snead, Ben Hogan, and on and on doesn’t play well in the modernist course that is TPC Sawgrass which brings to mind monstrosities like 2 Columbus Circle pre-facelift.

They managed to soften the whole cheesy 70’s look by getting rid of the chariots of gods pyramid clubhouse for Mediterraneo Lite, a la Disney. My heart doesn’t weep thinking about Hal Sutton taking TPC while battling blond hair, or Calvin Peete marching down the fairway lined with National Guardsmen protecting him from protest against the diamond in his grill. I have no emotional connection to Pate jumping into the pesticide and alligator infested waters with Beaman and Dye. I do recall Fred Couples winning with the effortless swing -I was there, but try to hallow that!

It’s like the difference between a world class steak served at one of the classic NY steak houses versus one of the corporate cutouts that advertise in the airline magazines. It’s different knowing that you’re eating beef at the same place that Big Pauly got whacked. Steak tastes better, the wine bloodier.

Nope. Just a very fancy tournament held in a drained swamp. Don’t forget your Off.

This was a comment posted on my new favorite blog NiceBallz. Go check it out!
http://blog.niceballz.com/2009/05/07/the-fifth-major-f-that.aspx

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My Other Blog -What I do when I’m Clark Kent

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el-aneurismoWhen I am not thinking golfism and supporting husband rights (in this blog categorized as naturalism), I am a vascular surgeon in Des Moines. I realized that the way doctors get the word out about themselves is inefficient, stilted, and unapproachable. Also, there is no transparency about what we do and how we do things. Therefore, I decided to open my previously closed blog – http://web.me.com/docpark. Above is a painting I did last year titled El Aneurismo, meant to be a market sign for a vascular surgeon.

golf news, golf personalities, golf philosophy, Golf politics, Liberty , , , , , , 1 Comment

Cart Path of Destiny

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img_0198Only 10 more days until they unleash the dogs onto Wakonda’s newly resurfaced fairways and greens. The loss of old growth oaks around the greens to ensure 8 hours of summer light may signify changes in the character of the course or just a hair cut. I favor the latter.

I recently started following Twitter and was amazed at the ability to narrowcast my interests to a likeminded group of people. The story of the week is Staff Sergeant William Vile’s disappearance -he is officially MIA (link). The action resulted in US casualties -follow it on http://www.milblogging.com and http://www.bouhammer.com. Political persuasion aside, you have to hear it from the people on the lines to make an informed opinion. As much as Huffingtonpost amuses me, to rely on any single news channel (includes you people tuning Fox in the doctors’ lounge) invites tunnel vision.

We’re on the 7th hole of 2009, and we’re going about 4 over. Hopefully, we’ll finish out this nine with a few birdies, including finding SSG W. Vile.

golf culture, golf history, my golf , , 3 Comments

It don’t mean a thing…

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Last year I posted a video of myself swinging the club [link]. Its remarkable how little changes with one’s swing despite conscious effort. It also means that your best chance at a natural swing is to learn it as a child. Despite learning at 10, I never really tried to play golf well nor live well by golfism until now. The nice thing about those boring (to me) trips to the range with dad was I did learn to swing fully and not have any really funny looking loops, jags, or stops. The trick is to create a simple platform to base your entire game on. It starts with the grip and being loose. Having a good tempo helps. Beyond that, its the mysteries.

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The Midnight Snack

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snc11871I have always loved ramen, pronounced ramyun in Korean. It is a corruption of the original Chinese lo-mein. Other cultures, including the Bukharan Jews of Central Asia, enjoy noodles in soups (they call it lagman). I have seen people eat these dry -I confess as a kid I used to do that too. Back in the day, my favorite was Sapporo Ichiban Ramen from Japan. It was basic -ur Ramen. Though the Chinese created these noodle soup dishes, and the Japanese made it a snack food by frying and drying the noodles for packaging, it is the Koreans who have created the perfect flavor -hot and spicy.

As a kid -the way to pep up the relatively bland Sapporo Ichiban was to add some kimchi into the boiling water. But kimchi is sometimes not available, but the food scientists at Shin Ramyun have recreated the perfect salty/spicy blend. It is the best Ramyun on the market. A close second is Neoguri (pronounced nuh-goo-ri).

The way I prepare it is boiling it the usual way, but I add two eggs which become poached in the soup. One egg i will break up to create kind of an egg drop effect, but the other I will leave to make a perfect poached egg within the spices. It is the real center of this dish. To this, I will add chopped green onions cut long (about two to three inches). Maybe some spinach leaves from the giant Costco packages.

If you’re really hungry, adding some cold rice to it is an easy way to increase the deliciousness. It is incredibly satisfying in a way that soul food satisfies. Water boiling now -must go.

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Golf on the Muni’s

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img_0164With Wakonda still healing from the face lift, I’ve been playing the excellent public courses around Des Moines. Picture above was taken about this time, last year, good friend, JH addressing his ball on #9 at Sugar Creek. Every small community in Iowa has its 9-hole course. This one, Sugar Creek, is a municipal track, operated by the town of Waukee. Growing golf turf is very close to growing corn, and the greenskeeper here takes particular pride in perfectly green fairways and putting surfaces. It costs less than 20 bucks to walk around 9 holes, rarely do you need a tee time -they’ll fit you in. Though distance challenged, it makes up for it in quality of the grass and accessibility. And that is it -access is what will keep this sport, and my nascent belief system, growing.

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The Husband Keeper

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Login and face the music like a man

Login and face the music like a man...husband-man

One Monday on Facebook,

Me, status update: Working for a living.

My Sister-in-Law, comment: yes but at least you get paid for it.

My Sister-in-Law is an out of work Yale MBA currently staying at home with two small children. They live on the west coast with its inherent expenses.

Me, comment: I’d rather get paid for my thoughts on golf, technology, and the future. Or for thoughtful, heroic roles in important epic feature films. Or for inventing something on the scale of post-it notes. By the way, your work is not gratis.

  • Cook- 2000/mo
  • Chauffeur -2000/mo
  • Nannyx2 2000/mo
  • Sugar baby 1500/mo
  • Consultant -1000/mo
  • Cleaner -1000/mo
  • Gardener -1000/mo
  • Tutors 2500/mo
  • Room/board for all these people 3500/mo

I can go on. This is with no benefits -health or retirement.

My Lovely Wife, J, comment: Do you want a bill?

Me, comment: Yikes!

Sister in Law, comment: kee kee…

Guess now that you’ve convinced me I’ve earned it, I can afford to redecorate, treat myself to those spa treatments, and toss in that Marc Jacobs handbag I’ve been eyeing. I think we may also need to add Psychologist, Nutritionist, Hair Stylist and Health Care Professional to the list…

Me, comment, exeunt: You go girl. It doesn’t apply to J because she employs me.

This exchange made me think, which is the first step into getting into big trouble. Why do do women want to get married and stay married? If you look at the job description, the housewife takes on at least 5 or 6 essential jobs, goes through great deal of risk to have children, and starts having incredible headaches after about five years of marriage.

If the husband was the first domesticated animal (link), the husband-keeper was the first pet owner. Some husbands are useful and clever like the sheep dogs in that Samsung commercial (link). Others are more like those giant dogs people get when they’re small and cute, but are horrified soon to find that the dog eats food bought in fifty pound sacks and lays turds bigger than theirs. They’re messy, they’re high maintenance, and they’re horny.

So what do you do about a problem dog? You “fix it.” And that is what the husband keeper does to the problem husband. The fix involves:

  1. limiting access to non-family activities with the guys (hunting, fishing, golfing!) that increases testosterone driven pack behavior
  2. letting them overeat (to make them less appealing to other women and by increasing body fat, increase relative estrogens and brooding behaviors while tamping down on demon testosterone)
  3. making them drive ungainly automobiles that have the profile of pregnant women (minivans, Priuses, Lexus anything). Through  about a million years of monogamy, the original savage brute is transformed into the domesticated house-husband.

Being married, I clearly benefit by not having to employ an army of assistants while getting a leg up on unmarried people with the help of my wife. I am presentable because of my wife. The unattached, middle-aged man has the shelf life of a can of anchovies -more than a few years, but not more than about five to twenty. Being unmarried, unattached, or sadly widowed in your sixties or later is a formula for showing up sallow, unshavened, unpressed, and unwashed -a homeless man. There is good data to show that longevity is associated with marriage. Most guys who run off on their wives and families immediately turn around and get married and start another family -what were they running from?

What benefit does a woman get? Pride in ownership? Someone to kill varmints? I have very little insight into this question. I did kill a mouse in my NY apartment in 2003 -last time I did something tangibly useful for my wife. It is shocking to me that we are nearing our 15th anniversary and I look at my wife and nothing has changed about her and us. And maybe this two-happy-bugs-preserved-in-amber-for-a-billions-years thing is it: it is not one person’s benefit or the other’s, but the sum of the whole. By getting married, we enter a time compression bubble where one year can feel like seven but fifteen can feel like one. For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, I am hers and she is mine.

Now about that Porsche.

Golf and Religion, golf culture, golf mysticism, my golf, Religion , , , , Leave a comment

Golf Psalm

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RC and E, new golf friends down in the valley below

RC and E, new golf friends, down in the valley below

The Lord is my playing partner, I shall not want for weekend morning tee times

He makes me lie safe in green fairways, he leads me safely outside water hazards

He restores my mojo, he guides me down righteous cart paths in his name.

Yea though I slice into the valley of the shadow of double bogey, I will fear no rough for thou are with me. Thy hybrid and 7-iron, they comfort me.

Thou preparest a match for me in the presence of my competitors, thou anointest my head with sunscreen, my cooler overflows.

Surely pars and birdies will follow me all the days of my life, and I will be scratch into the clubhouse of the Lord forever.

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New Putter, New Life

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snc11807

Got a new putter after perseverating with classic shaped putters. I just couldn’t bring myself to get a 2 or 3 Ball putter, but the pro shop at my club had these in various heights. After testing it out -it felt so good, and visualizing the line is made much simpler. It resists twisting better.

The proof is in the improved putting I had yesterday despite a steady rain. I averaged 2.1putts/hole down from 2.7 last year. If the manner in which you manage the course reflects your intellect, then the way you putt reflects your temperament.

Saw Happy Gilmore for the first time last night -enjoyed the humor but found the stretching of golf rules too much. Far and away, Caddyshack is the golf movie of record.