Central Asian Chant Ringtone




I composed this last night with Garageband using vocal tracks and a Blue Snowflake USB microphone. The twanging sound is from the antique Jew’s Harp. The throat singing is me recorded in two different tracks with vocal settings on “Deep Male Voice” and “Helium” which helps accentuate the overtones (or at least gives the impression that I can produce overtones). I’ve been practicing for years in the shower trying to get the nasal whistling overtones, but this has eluded me. The deeper resonant sounds are easier for me. The chant is a Korean Buddhist prayer for intercession of mercy on the world.

It was inspired by the movie Mongol. The movie and this chant compel me to a desire for riding on the Central Asian steppes in full medieval Mongol warrior regalia at the head of a horde charge. I think Mongol should take Best Foreign Film at this year’s Oscars if it doesn’t get run over by that Indian movie. The trailer attached below I think is in Russian -and shows mostly the battle scenes. The movie is meant to be a first chapter in a trilogy. It shows Genghis Khan in his youth and his relationship with his long-suffering wife. 

The Fortune

img_1410My wife J has a long history of cracking out dissatisfying fortunes out of fortune cookies. They are never completely bad, but inevitably not as fun as mine. Yesterday was a case in point. Out with friends at Iron Wok near Jordan Creek, where the chef is a master of the wok -cooking fresh ingredients at lead-melting speeds to sear in taste without losing texture or flavor, the meal ended with the passing of the fortune cookies. I made a gesture at first handing J a cookie, but the look in her eye told me that it would be more entertaining if she picked the fortune. The results, typical, are preserved in the picture above. 

For some reason, J would get these runs of bizarrely written fortunes like, “Hard work is its own reward” and “Reward without suffering is no reward.” This is made worse by my skill in garnishing fortunes like, “Success must be rewarded with pleasure” and “You deserve a Porsche 911 Turbo in Ticket Me Please Red.” 

I made up that last one. Statistics will inform me that odds are 50-50 that J get the totalitarian propoganda while I get the license to boogie in our fortune cookies, but tell that to J. This is where bias is a central feature in the way we view the world. Even when I get the fortune that says, “Trust in Effort, Be Wary of Easy Path” and she gets the one that says, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy,” J would say that I got hers and she got mine. I am Snoopy to her Charlie Brown. I fight the Red Baron, and she is my owner. 

That being said, with her by my side, with her sympathetic outlook on my shenanigans, with her hardworking nature, and strenuous efforts, I have been and will always be the luckiest guy around.