Tilted Sideways, a Colander of Death

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The tragedy in Italy comes so soon after our cruise vacation that I felt compelled to comment. We were passengers aboard the Ruby Princess over Christmas. It is in many respects a sister ship to the unfortunate Costa Concordia, built by the same ship builder with similar tonnage and sibling like launch dates (2006 and 2008). The thing that struck me about our voyage was this: it was very clear that the ship was well run. The ship’s commander was Commodore Giuseppe Romano, whom we briefly met. The whole ship ran with obvious discipline with the first order of business on leaving Ft. Lauderdale being an evacuation drill where we understood the series of events in the event of a disaster before the first shrimp cocktail was served. During the cruise, there were several crew based drills, and I could appreciate the importance of top down leadership.

This is further contrasted by the events last week in Italy, which will be studied extensively, not just in a court of law, but in business schools as a case study of poor leadership. Bad decisions and bad discipline compounded by the elements made this the perfect example of why we have rules and expectations about professionals and their behavior. It also is a sobering reminder of how far we’ve strayed from chivalric ideals of women and children first. In a classroom, the idea of chivalry can be seen as revanchist, antiquarian, vestigial, and oppressive, but in the scrum of a mob climbing towards a lifeboat, the reports of grown men cutting in line, stripping life jackets from pregnant women, and abandoning the disabled all headed by this captain illustrates something.

It’s the death of honor.

The Holiday Cruise in 30 Tweets

Thoughts before a holiday cruise.
1. If I don’t pay enough for my tickets will I be Irish dancing day and night in steerage.
2. Will there be a series of unsolved murders and will I have to solve them?
3. As we sail into the Bermuda triangle, will there be wifi?
4. If we land on a lost continent, will dinosaur taste like chicken.
5. Will there be monsters?
6. If I ever have to man an oar, will I be man enough?
7. Would the food charge on the lifeboats include tip.
8. Does the rule women and children first include man-children?
9. Does our fare include tribute for harpies, sirens, and cyclops?
10. What is the dollar to doubloon exchange rate?

 

Thoughts during a cruise

  1. Some non-Titanic cruise movies they should screen at Movies Under the Stars: The 5th Element, Steve Zissou and the Life Aquatic, Battlestar Galactica, but they don’t take requests.
  2. Back is aft, forward is forward, right is starboard, left is port, and the bathroom is the head. Kind of funny that left is port.
  3. Nobody shouts “land-ho!” when land is clearly ho.
  4. Our steward has better manners than any of us.
  5. The tropical paradise of Eleuthera is a dollop of sand in the middle of the ocean –if it wasn’t for the concession stand, I’d say two weeks tops before the party descends into cannibalism and Lord of the Flies worship.
  6. Trying to figure out what is the real reason behind the all you can eat policy.
  7. Sea Law implies that the captain is a benevolent despot and we are his happy children. Surprisingly, I sleep well.
  8. Man Overboard! Don’t yell that.
  9. Vomiting toddlers are treated like infected zombies.
  10. There is no poop deck, just a walking track.

 

 

Thoughts After A Cruise

  1. Grateful that there were no Kraken, Cyclops, or carnivorous Mermaids showing up asking for tips.
  2. No icebergs.
  3. Gastroenteritis outbreak averted by 36 hour quarantine of 2 year old in a 8×10 cell.
  4. Scopalamine patch effective in creating zombie red eye, furry dry mouth, and Cross Bronx traffic jam constipation.
  5. Baristas no longer hassling me over my morning precoffee aphasia.
  6. Income inequality’s logical end point is well illustrated by the juxtaposition of Paradise Island and the slums over the hill from Nassau.
  7. All you can eat does not mean all you can digest.
  8. They gouge you with the Wifi, the drinks, the tips, and the duty free stuff that is not profit free.
  9. Our particular cruise had the ambience of an over the top Bar Mitzvah that would not end.
  10. Ship’s doctor thankfully didn’t want a tip

    The Only Fellow Who Didn't Want a Tip

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