Atlas Kvetches: Advice for a Friend Newly Married in Middle Age

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Expert Advice

  1. Don’t go introducing your first wife as your “first wife.” Very few people find that funny. Heh, heh.
  2. In general, the answer is “yes” unless it involves wearing man Uggs.
  3. You have two years to establish your habits and patterns, after which these become the boundary conditions of your confinement -if that includes getting a new Porsche lease every year or having an annual dinner with some close woman friend with whom you have a platonic but almost but not quite When Harry Met Sally kind of relationship, you have to set the pattern within the two year mark.
  4. Start work on your man cave for all the things that you love that she hates. That space will never be big enough.
  5. If you share bank accounts, you should put aside and maintain some cash inside an unused guitar for spur of the moment purchases like: 1. lap dances, 2. bribe to get out of Mexican jail, 3. over and under 12 gauge shotgun, 4. food for secret family, 5. escape
  6. Spontaneity worked in dating, but predictability keeps the marriage secure. Share your Outlook or iCloud calendar, broadcast your phone’s GPS, update your Facebook frequently or hire someone reliable to do these for you, paying out of the funds in #5
  7. Learn and appreciate the incognito mode on Google’s Chrome web browser. 
  8. Golf gives you 5-8 hours of quiet alone time. If she takes up golf, the other options include: 1. Iron Man training, 2. piano lessons, 3. trips to buy obscure companies that make obscure but needful things, 4. solo sailing, 5. extreme litigation, 6. closet with an inside lock, Lazy Boy, and iPad.
  9. Prepare for inevitable valleys of despair and peaks of reasonable happiness by collecting whiskies.
  10. Buy one of those clicker counters (those red plastic ones are best) to keep track of meaningful conversations. Remember you can only have 100 meaningful conversations with the wife before it all ends, and you don’t wan’t it to end so soon, so pace yourself. About one a year may sound crazy but goes a long way to keep the bonds tight. 
  11. All hires -personal secretaries, nannies, staff, should be younger versions of your wife, just to keep everyone on their toes. 
  12. Stop with the Q-tips -let the ear wax buildup and let hearing slip. Hearing is overrated, particularly in the married. 

Jon Huntsman Denounces Nasty, Jingoistic Video Allegedly Made By Ron Paul Supporters (VIDEO)


If Huntsman were running in the Democratic primaries, he’d give the President a run for the money. If Huntsman and Bloomberg ran a third party campaign, they could win it because moderates of both parties make a plurality. Coalition government­s exist throughout the world in multiparty environmen­ts. The internet and its effect on traditiona­l media prove that there are no mass market demographi­cs to market to. What works in Portlandia does not under Friday Night Lights. The two parties are like the three national television networks. Everyone is feeling disenfranc­hised, and the extremely committed end up with a greater voice and disproport­ionate impact because they show up to vote.

This type of video in another setting, let’s say an Engadget article about iPhone users being pompous, overly self-aware baristas, would be just troll bait. Yes there are people who think like this, but they can and are free to do so. The point of this video is to create a reaction, and it seems a bit too cute to be authentic. People who think like this usually aren’t so organized. I don’t believe its authentici­ty.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

One percent of the 1%

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From Evernote:

One percent of the 1%

The recent focus on Kim Jong Il’s lifestyle brought gasps of astonishment -he sent his sushi chef on a private jet to Japan to shop for rice cakes while his country was starving. Fact is, among the wealthy, there are the über wealthy, and among the über wealthy are the super duper wealthy whose daily budget would feed maybe a thousand families. While we do not begrudge anyone success -as this is the cornerstone of America, even the most callous person has to admit there is some injustice in North Korean society. It does not come from a lack of guns -the noncoms always outnumber the officers, and the fact that people can bribe border guards to escape means that some independent thinking occurs. The fact is that a religion, a cult of personality, sustains the vast inequality of North Korean society. Religions demand faith over logic. Directing the resources of a nation to the sustenance of a few humans at the top defies logic. It is a religious-type faith and fear of retribution, fear of apostasy and heresy, and fear of change that causes this gangrene to linger. What are the idols that drive injustice here at home? It is the belief that success comes from being favored by God and that lack of success comes from sin. It is the belief in absolutes that define religion. This idea afflicts our politics as much as the cult of personality afflicts North Korea.

The subordination of logic to dogma and its use in organizing societies is a old tradition. It gets people across desserts, oceans, and helps individuals process grief and the unfathomable concept of infinity. It is a human trait as ingrained as circling three times before bedding in a dog. Yet this kind of thinking is also used to demonize the poor, write off the sick, and rationalize the unemployed. It is extended into contempt for anything for the public good that comes from taxes -clean water, safe roads, national rail, public health, education and safety. It sanctifies success defined as wealth and therefore denigrates anything that might take away from that wealth.

In our still free society, one’s success is the result of not only hard work, but favorable circumstances, good health, and the support of people who were midwives to the success -the family and community that nurtured the individual and the society that provided the fertile ground for success. It’s the good plumbing that provided fresh water for excellent development. It’s the public safety provided community police and fire departments. It is the critical mass of excellent citizens that allow for success and justice. I think that is the message of the OWS protesters, that the people who get tasty morsels flown in for them not get protections at the cost of the people making it possible.

I wish for the new year the restoration of reason and clear thinking guided not by desire for retribution or a return to a past that never really was. I want an America where everyone has available all the opportunities while being good citizens and supporting the community, state, and country that allowed that to happen.

Facebook Timeline: It’s Alive!

If I put enough data into the timeline, my likes and friends, my tastes, my thoughts, my hopes, my fears, my dreams, my purchases, my gifts, my dislikes, my preferences, my comments, my chats, my photos, my locations, and everything else, you can then one day create an on line avatar that would pass the Turing test as me, and I would then be able to live free from having to update Facebook.