Horn of plenty

img_0481The bananas are from Central America, the tomatoes are from my garden, the squash is locally grown, and the oranges are from South Africa. The bananas are shipped green and ripen en route and require an entire industrial system of farmers, freighters, packers, truckers, handlers. The oranges came in a large box at Costco and were purchased for a ridiculously low price of 8 dollars and passed through as many hands. The acorn squash cost about 2 bucks and was labelled “local” at the local Dahl’s supermarket. The cost of the tomatoes is debatable. I shook out 4 seeds from a packet purchased four years ago, and germinated them in a small prepacked squib of peat. They grew to about 10 inches in a pot on the deck, and were transplanted to a side garden that I’ve used off and on. The rain and the soil and the intense Iowa summer grew a nice tomato patch that was good for fresh tomatoes from August to October. These represent a pailful of green ones that have ripened on the counter and are being consumed slowly and with savor. 

It begs the question of what we pay and subsidize as a society to get ripe fruit all year round, to get New Zealand apples in the winter, to eat watermelon when it’s clearly out of season, and the fruit is all very cheap when compared to inflation indices. The tomatoes are irregular, and some are frankly ugly, but exquisitely delicious when drizzled with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and served with fresh onions and basil (from garden), topped with a dash of salt and pepper. The bananas are okay when they turn dalmatian, but people who grew up with fresh bananas will tell you that the ones you get at the grocery have all the appeal of mashed potatoes. The oranges are passable and industrial, nothing like the hand picked ones I grew up with in Florida. Acorn squash is deciding if it is decoration or food.

So what is it with today’s post? It has to do with anything else we do -expedience versus slow attention to detail, organic versus “brand organic.” It’s the golf game bought at a 5000 dollar golf school versus one built over decades of misery punctuated by moments of glory. It’s the handwritten letter compared to a text message. It’s a car that you restore yourself versus one that you buy at the classic car/mod shop. 

All of the above store bought items are “organic.” I can tell you the tomatoes in this context are priceless, but I’ll give you one for free. Maybe trade you a bucket for a haircut.

Miracles and Statistics

I had read that McCain’s aides, the ones trashing Sarah Palin this week, called Barack Obama, “the one.” This, I believe, is the reference from The Matrix series. It comes from the moment where Morpheus, the leader of the human resistance, reveals to Neo, “You are the one.” The Christ references came in spades as well as all kinds of Buddhist and Exodus references. The movie poses a serious question about miracles and statistics.

Science is never about absolute truths, but a series of questions and answers based on logic and statistics. If explanation A describes phenomena X 99% of the time compared to explanation B which works only 95%, theory A is the better explanation. Even so, there is no establishment of absolute truth, but support of a stronger theory. It is this process which refines the understanding of phenomena X -but this confounds people of faith.

People of faith believe in incontrovertible truths. They see the world in black and white and are highly suspicious of the shades of gray offered by theories. Science is a process that offers increasing degrees of certainty measured by statistics -some theories become established and become principles, but are always open to exceptions. These exceptions require new theories or amendments of theories, but on their face, they can seem miraculous because they occur in a vacuum of explanation. This happened when whole ecosystems were found around volcanic vents at the bottom of sea trenches. This will happen when we find extraterrestrial life. This will happen when a computer demands civil rights.

In the Matrix, the presence of Neo, and his antagonist, Agent Smith, are said to be the result of a statistical anomaly that occurs every few millennia. I have often thought that if something has a 1 in a billion chance to occur, it is likely to have occurred if there are billions of people. There is that great Youtube video of a baseball bat flung to the ground after a hit, ending up standing perfectly. Of the millions, perhaps billions of times, a bat has been flung to the ground, it usually should come to rest in a state of lowest potential energy. Because the bat has a flat surface on its end, there is a potential energy state that is metastable standing up. This seemingly miraculous event occurred and may likely occur again before the Cubs win the Series again.

So what are miracles? Are they statistical anomalies? Phenomena that occur in the vacuum of theory? People mystified by a standing bat? I believe in miracles as I have been the beneficiary of one requested on the tails of falling Perseid metorites in 2001. I cannot explain how it occurred or why. Miracles are the impossible made real. In a world where you can wish on a falling star and get your life’s wish a few months later, I cannot argue against the miraculous.

The Tao of Golfism

Spring, looking toward clubhouse from number 4 fairway.

Spring, looking toward clubhouse from number 4 fairway.

 

I recently started rereading Tao Te Ching, by Lao Tzu, and it hit me that the Tao can be completely understood through golf. Taking the translation by Dr. Stanley Rosenthal (link) and replacing Tao with golfism, and it reveals so much about both as they seem to be one and the same. See excerpt with modifications below. 

 

1. THE EMBODIMENT OF golfism

Even the finest teaching is not golfism itself.

Even the finest name is insufficient to define it.

Without words, golfism can be experienced,

and without a name, it can be known.

 

To conduct one’s life according to golfism,

is to conduct one’s life without regrets;

to realize that potential within oneself

which is of benefit to all.

 

Though words or names are not required

to live one’s life this way,

to describe it, words and names are used,

that we might better clarify

the way of which we speak,

without confusing it with other ways

in which an individual might choose to live.

 

Through knowledge, intellectual thought and words,

the manifestations of golfism are known,

but without such intellectual intent

we might experience golfism itself.

 

Both knowledge and experience are real,

but reality has many forms,

which seem to cause complexity.

 

By using the means appropriate,

we extend ourselves beyond

the barriers of such complexity,

and so experience golfism.

 

Evolution of form

 

Perfect Movement

Perfect Movement

The teaching of golf to children is simple, requiring very little vocabulary. You hand them a club and tell them to knock the ball out there. They find the necessary adjustments that make their swing more efficient without too much pushing. Try that with a thirty five year old. If you have a child of less than ten, give them the gift of golf. They may never like it, may give it up for a time, but if they manage to get good form as a child, it stays for a lifetime.

Golf is a happiness process

 

A family man’s life is hard. He must give himself constantly to his labors. He must also prove that he contributes to the household by giving his labors during his days away from work. Men live shorter lives compared to their mates, being more prone to heart attack, stroke, prostate cancer, and soul-crushing depression. 

 

The preamble to the Constitution speaks of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. In truth, we have the to-do list, many responsibilities, and the time from 10pm to 2am. It isn’t to say that happiness can’t be derived from being a family man. It is gratifying to watch your progeny grow. It is comforting to share intimate moments with your mate. Above all, you avoid a certain amount of disrepute for lacking the gravitas of domestic ballast. 

 

There is a moment when a man looks in the mirror and whispers that old Talking Heads’ refrain, “how did I get here?” You can make it happen by watching a video of yourself –it is in video that you see things that you gracefully filter out in the mirror. It’s horrible but fascinating to see all of a sudden that you no longer look so much like the Asian Charlie Sheen that the girls used to talk about, but now you could do a pretty good Roseanne Barr imitation.

 

In response, we all behave differently depending on our proclivity and appetites. There are those who externalize by grabbing on to things they didn’t have the funding for when they were younger and poorer. A Porsche 911 Turbo with Cabriolet top in sunburst copper in the shade you see on classic Les Paul guitars, a twenty-something girlfriend with daddy issues, a 24k grill that says, “Hedge Trimmer” -these are some of the things that come to mind. The internalizers on the other hand submerge their pain with night time viewings of 15 second sample porno clips and sideways glances at the milfy neighbor ladies. They become closet heterosexuals in that most asexual of life roles -suburban daddy. 

 

The Atlases of the cul-de-sacs and exurbs are suffering, my friends, and I have found the way. Swing that club and celebrate your potential because in golf you are given those moments of purity and perfection. Put a smile on your face and not a gun in your mouth. Be the ball, not the tee. 

Atlas

Atlas

The Kobayashi Maru

 

The Cog by G

The Cog by G

 

 

The Kobayashi Maru is a geek reference from Star Trek. At Star Fleet academy, cadets destined for command are given a no-win scenario which is used to assess their character and quality. As the Star Trek canon goes, you, the commander of a starship, get a distress signal from the Kobayashi Maru, a freighter, which has hit a gravitic mine. The ship is in distress within the Neutral Zone, a kind of 23rd century DMZ, and entering it would be construed by the Klingons as an act of war. It’s a setup -if you attempt rescue, you are immediately set upon by a fleet of Klingon ships. 

Kirk is famous for declaring “there is no no-win situation” and is famous for having “won” the Kobayashi Maru simulation while at Star Fleet Academy by reprogramming the computer-based Klingons to have fear of “The Captain Kirk.” He cheated, but was commended for original thinking.

It is a truism that in the end you die. In that respect, life is a very long Kobayashi Maru scenario, a no-win situation where the end is known. You can’t escape, you can’t win. But that isn’t the point of Kobayashi Maru. It is how you conduct yourself as the ship goes down -are you helping people onto the lifeboats or are you elbowing people out of the way to get on one?

Ether Day – 1913 Open – Election Day 2008


We just past Ether Day, the anniversary of the first operation under general anesthesia performed at Massachusetts General Hospital on October 16, 1846. Imagine operating without anesthesia, being held down by burley attendants, swigging a shot of whiskey for numbness, and biting a bullet for perseverance. For golf, its game changing Ether Day had to have been Ouimet’s victory at the Open. The coming election day is such a day. Despite the efforts of people trying to declare parts of America un-American, do the American thing and vote. I just did yesterday.

Certain things bind us together and other things will drive us apart. Remember, even in competition, Ouimet and Vardon were gentleman. We can’t let the coarse turbulent rhetoric become the epitaph of American unity. After the election, the effort has to be made to bring everyone back into the fold. Compassion and sportsmanship has to return to politics or we will see a disUnited States.

Bought some Irony at the local grocery…

The past two weeks in the political race have brought me to drink. When I walked past the wine aisle at my local Dahl’s and saw the bottle of Irony, I couldn’t pass it up. The basic conflict that we are seeing is there are two kinds of people -people who see things in black or white, and those who can only see shades of gray. As a physician, I think this is rooted in neurobiology, like right or left handedness. I think it is wrong to judge either group particularly if you are in one or the other. 

This is basically the difference between people of science and people of faith. I really don’t think you can be both. Belief from the viewpoint of science is rooted in judging probabilities – you create statistical probability spaces, and you decide and calculate given certain conditions, the probability of x is y, and you can then calculate within a 95% certainty that where y is when x is a certain way. This is how quantum theory works, this is the basis of all science -you create a null hypothesis and you create conditions that test for a 95% certainty that the null hypothesis is not true. All shades of gray, but you can say for sure, 95% is pretty good odds, and that a 1 in a billion chance is, well, miraculous, and therefore not likely.

With faith, things are far more concrete and in fact written in stone. People of faith measure things against certitude -a body of truths. They have faith that these truths are self evident and constant. They can’t stand relativism -that belief that the high ground you might think you are on is high only in the context of your relative beliefs and circumstances. 

Here is a simple series of tests.

Did you like Seinfeld or Home Improvement when they were popular? When you read A Modest Proposal by Swift (link), were you put off, or did you get the joke? Did you ever read it? An unlicensed plumber with obvious antediluvian views on race (tap dance for me, n%#@$%) is now McCain’s second running mate -does this strike you as a false assertion or very ironic.

As for me, I prefer my Irish babies roasted in a demiglaze with shallots and thyme, served with some Irony, after a nice bracing fall round of golf.

The lost golfball is usually not the same as a lost child

 

Hyperion #13

Hyperion #13

Imagine if you are of a certain age, and you now have time to take up golf. You can play in the middle of the week, and you take a few lessons, read some golf magazines, and you find a group of guys at your general skill level. All four of you take to the course as often as you can, and you poke the balls out there, never in the middle of the fairway, but into the thick stuff, only the thick stuff at Hype is only 2-3 inches deep, very forgiving. None of your clustered eight eyes see beyond general trajectories. One of you who may have been in the artillery during ‘Nam (not Korea, as you clearly are still walking), adds in wind into the general calculus. So after you hit your tee shots, and until you get on the green, the rate limiting step of your round is finding the golfball.

The artillery guy waves his hands towards the bushes ahead, or to the cart path to the right or to the unconscious old guy to the left, and starts his partners on their mission, which now no longer is golf, but rather a gruesome easter egg hunt. I can hear their joints cracking across the fairway as they rustle about the rough. There is no glee in the dour faces of these gentleman, but rather the serious, searching squint of hunter-gatherers looking for their next meal. I do get it, as for these guys, the finding of balls, and not necessarily of their own balls, but of more balls, is basically the only reward they get as I have rarely seen any of these guys putt out -it’s a potlatch of plenty on the greens as they bestow five to ten footers to each other after spending five minutes each squinting and plotting their lag putts. Of course, there will always be one who insists of putting out, but he will spend five minutes on the one footer as well as the thirty footer. 

Imagine this multiplied by five or ten, and all of these fine men are hunting and gathering for balls, calculating and fussing over putts that they might make once a year, and never holing out which is the point of stroke play. 

Imagine this whole bunch unmarshalled and unregulated. They can’t see the group waiting behind them, and because they keep running into the group ahead, they assume that golf is always slow. 

And that is fine. They are experiencing golf in their own way. They are experience the joy of the wandering search. The fine air, the cool breeze, how many of these days do we have left to us? We don’t know but we know they are finite. 

I am happy they have their place to play at golf and at golf ball hunting. And I am glad to know where these people are.

The Godfather, the HAC, and Houston

When I was a child, I saw The Godfather and The Godfather Part II. I have watched it again and again, and I read Mario Puzo’s masterpiece. I have upgraded the movies as the media changes, but have held off upgrading to the DVD’s until now -it’s available on iTunes and will now travel with me on my iPhone on my next trip. 

It’s greatness is in its authentic portrayal of the immigrant experience. It’s about being an outsider. It’s about the wages of sin and losing of the soul in pursuit of the American dream. 

What is the American Dream today? In striving for it, what do we lose? Why did we as a society go “All In” on housing,  with borrowed chits from the Chinese who now run the tables. 

In troubled times, we will all end up going to the mattresses, banding together. The HAC is an important thing because it is Our Thing -it allows the men in our community to gather and see what kind of golfers we are. 

Tears came to my eyes when I saw a subdivision a lot like ours in Houston without electricity. It wasn’t the lack of electricity, but the orange extension cords going from the homes with power to their neighbors without power that were physical representations of the connectedness of these people. 

The HAC, play groups, the block parties, these work to make us closer. We will all need each other in these troubled times.