After a round of golf in the rapidly warming weather, I like to wash off and freshen up. Unfortunately, at the club, they only stock mens fragrances from the 50’s -officially “after shave.” I once went home after showering at the club, splashed on some Brut, and my wife went, “ewwww,” told me I reeked of “old man.”

I suppose if they wanted to move the clock forward, they could stock Hai Karate.

The amazing thing about these fossil fragrances is how penetrating they are -you can smell it from across the room. The irony is that these after shave lotions are exactly what you don’t want to put on your skin after shaving.

It’s like using aspirin for pain relief -you shouldn’t. It’s a much better antiplatelet agent.

My mother had the best use for the stuff -to keep critters away from the garden.