Filed under: Golf and Religion, golf culture, golf equipment, golf news, my golf | Tags: 2009 golf season, bitter dregs, final round of golf, last round
The last weekend of golf is like the final sips of a good bottle of wine. Some people stop after the first glass, but I tend to take golf to the bitter dregs if given the opportunity. I played last weekend during a splash of 60 degree weather. I walked 3 holes -the first three of Wakonda which are the toughest three starting holes in Iowa. I birdied the first hole by holing a chip, tripled the second after getting in the bunker off the tee shot and flubbing the sand shot due to wet sand, and bogeying the third after getting on in regulation and three putting.
This was 2009 in a precise nutshell. I should give up golf and only write about it.
Filed under: Golf and Religion, Naturalism, golf culture, golf mysticism, golf proverbs
If the Old Testament, hellfire Christians are correct, then the best I can expect is to be in a line with quadrillions of people ahead of me, a line that includes Gandhi, Socrates, the Buddha, the entire pre-Columbian Aztec nation, most everyone who has ever lived in Marin County, aborted fetuses (each wearing an original sin pin on a simple gray smock), spilled semen (reconstituted as hopping demi-beings with whiplike tails, wearing half a black tee shirt with Onan in globby white letters), and a couple of my high school teachers. We’re all waiting to get processed and sent down a large hole in the clouds. We entertain each other with stories about our lives. I’m surrounded by a couple of billion demi-people who claim some relationship to me…
Filed under: Golf and Religion, HAC, Naturalism, golf culture, golf mysticism, golf philosophy | Tags: golf mental process, golf mystery, golf swing, golfism, HAC, mystical golf, zen golf
The 2009 HAC was played yesterday with the highest attendance ever. The teams were composed of an A, B, C, D level player and played on a 6/6/6 format of individual, shamble, and scramble format based on the difficulty of the hole. Waveland offered a challenging, classic layout and it was spiced up by a torrential downpour around midday.
My round of 76, with help from my team on the shambles and scrambles, was a bit of a revelation. I had six birdies, four of which occurred on an individual or shamble hole. I was playing in a different place with no fear or thought. I was possessed of a great awareness and presence, but had no definite perception of space or time. It was just ball and myself, and a pleasant time moving through the grass. Every component of my game was functioning, and even the triple and double bogies that occurred during the downpour were snap hooks out of bounds with a slippery grip, and I played after stroke and distance bogey and par on those holes. The putting was just simply perfectly dependable with an occasional long putt going in.
I hope this lasts through the rest of the season. I attribute some of this to a book I read the night before the tournament -Zen Golf: Mastering the Mental Game by Joseph Parent (link). Will keep you updated.
We won by the way, thanks to the efforts of MD, TB, and TW. Thanks to all!
Addendum: 8/16/2009
Here is the HAC trophy, also known as the Wedgie, sitting alone among my wife’s numerous tennis trophies.
It is known as the wedgie for its features below:
Filed under: Golf and Religion, golf culture, golf philosophy | Tags: abortion, Benno Ohnesorg, culture wars, domestic terrorism, George Tiller assassination
This image, of student protester, Benno Ohnesorg, in slain in 1967, West Germany, by a West German police officer, was one of the images of the cold war that stuck with me. The woman hovering above the poor head shot fellow looks like an angel from one of those paintings at a war memorial cradling a slain soldier. He had been protesting the state visit of the Shah of Iran. The officer, Karl Heinz-Kurras (pictured) was exonerated. 
The picture is from Heinz-Kurras’ East German Communist party membership card (NY Times article). He was a member of the East German security apparatus, or Stasi -this being uncovered just this past week.
Benno Ohnesorg became the focal point of a lot of activism and social change, but also the beacon for Red Army terrorists. We don’t know if Heinz-Kurras was acting on orders or it was an accident.
The news of Dr. George Tiller’s assassination will be another flashpoint in our endless culture war. The far right will probably link this event to some chess move from the left to create a martyr. Certainly we are headed that way from all of the tweets and blog entries I’ve had the stomach to review today, because he is being made into a martyr. I wonder if Dr. Tiller (picture below) had any choice in this.
The abortion question is the one issue that threatens our democracy more than anything else because terrorists have acted on their fanaticism. This is our battle -we are in a death match with ignorance. It’s the twenty first century versus the 11th century.
Our battle is lost in big ways and little. The big ways have to do with the dilution of excellence, diminishing of expectations and standards, and the coarsening of discourse. The little ways have to do with the choices we make -football practice over violin practice, watching American Idol versus thinking, and buying crap, lots of it.
The descendants do descend -I see perfectly well mannered and literate seniors accompanied by less educated and less mannered children and even worse grandchildren. If the greatest generation is on the wane, we are living in a post-Periclean age of reduction. The barbarians are inside the gate. They are us.
If we are to get past this, we need to focus on educating, getting people literate in science and the arts. If George Tiller is to become a martyr, let him become a martyr for modernity and the 21st century.
Filed under: Golf and Religion, Liberty, my golf | Tags: 10 best places to live, des moines, iowa living, ipod shuffle, lawn mowing, zen meditation
Mowing lawn, listening to iPod, gives you a lot of time to think, and realize things can’t be all that bad…if you live in Iowa, and just played golf that morning.
Filed under: Golf and Religion, HAC, golf culture, golf mysticism, golf proverbs, my golf | Tags: breaking par, emotional baggage, golf philosophy, golf thinking, thanksgiving dinner
There is a golfer who has written a book about breaking par (link) in the span of a year from a state of hack. I am a fan of windmill tilting, and I have preordered the book. The author is on Twitter probably by order of his publicist, but his genuine reticence to go full tilt shill convinced me of his genuine qualities.
I think for someone with a reasonable swing, going from bogey to par golf is an achievable goal if it is dissected as a process, much like making a good pot of coffee, a perfect pancake, or repairing a ruptured aneurysm. I fancy that I can make my swing work on occasion.
Of course, unlike the previously mentioned procedures, golf involves a great deal of emotional baggage. A round of golf can reveal emotional subtext like nothing else except for maybe Thanksgiving dinner with the family.
You see the flashes of perfection like the fluttering of angel wings at the periphery of your vision. The ball sometimes flies as if guided by Providence. These shots out of our dreams are glimpses of our better selves.
As much as I try to put bad shots out of my mind, I think the key to the next level is getting the good shots out of my mind -or at least the most recent good shot. I will concentrate on blocking out the past and on facing the present situation -it’s natural as breathing in my profession, so I must strive to apply it in my avocation.
If you double after a birdie, you’re still one over for two holes where typically you’d be two over, so what’s the problem? I think the birdie is as much the problem as the double bogey, and my goal for this year is to focus on the present -the address, the stance, the takeaway, the rhythm, the swing, the follow through, and keeping my head still. The cosmic injustice of double bogeys following birdies will have to be stowed away for discussion after the match.
“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” -Master Yoda.
Competition is an integral part of golf. Keeping an accurate handicap is the only honorable way to level the playing field. I proudly carry my most recent handicap card and keep a USGA Rules of Golf in my bag. It also means competing with my neighbors in our annual HAC series of tournaments, and entering in the tournaments in my club. Will keep you posted.
Filed under: Golf and Religion, Religion, golf culture, golf mysticism, my golf | Tags: God is my co-pilot, golf psalm, golf religion, prayer, Psalm 23
RC and E, new golf friends, down in the valley below
The Lord is my playing partner, I shall not want for weekend morning tee times
He makes me lie safe in green fairways, he leads me safely outside water hazards
He restores my mojo, he guides me down righteous cart paths in his name.
Yea though I slice into the valley of the shadow of double bogey, I will fear no rough for thou are with me. Thy hybrid and 7-iron, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a match for me in the presence of my competitors, thou anointest my head with sunscreen, my cooler overflows.
Surely pars and birdies will follow me all the days of my life, and I will be scratch into the clubhouse of the Lord forever.
Filed under: Golf and Religion, golf culture, golf news, my golf | Tags: breaking par, golf statistics, Iowa, Norwalk, The Legacy, View Ti Golf
The View Ti Golf’s strength is as much in its scorekeeping functionality as in the yardage by GPS. The round I played today at The Legacy in Norwalk, IA, was an evolutionary step. First -the front nine was a better round on several measures – there was only two three putts, and I putted 17 times -under the 18 putt goal. The back nine was another story. The last three holes were played in 8 over par. This is in distinction to the first six holes played in 5 over par. Overall, I was striking the ball purely and was in fact made seven of 18 GIR’s which is pretty good. I had three or four up and downs -these aren’t tracked explicitly in View Ti, but hinted at by the one putts. The things I have to work on can be summarized by the stats screen to the right: 
I drove pretty well -in fact, I missed four fairways into the first cut of rough, and had one out of bounds. I played the par fours at bogey but suffered on the par 3 and par 5’s.
But again, to accentuate the positive -I took an average of 2.1 putts/green which is better than 2.7 putts per green which was my season average based on the cards that I kept. I kept a positive attitude through the round and for the first time in a long time, could see the line. The line was not the problem today -it was the strength with which I hit the putts -I missed two birdies by overrrunning the hole.
It was a great round played in bad weather -for most of the round, we had steady light rain and cool winds which kept the balls on the green -I stopped a hybrid 4 at 176 yards dead on the green thats how soft it was. My playing partner, DH, who also toughed it out, agreed that it was a fine day for golf.
I mean, would you miss church because it was raining a little?
Filed under: Golf and Religion, golf philosophy, golf proverbs | Tags: chariots of fire, golf philosophy, golfism, hyperbaric chamber, immortality, oxygen, pharoahs, pyramids
The hyperbaric chamber reached mythical status when it was found that Michael Jackson slept in one at the height of his fame. Once the patient is sealed in the tank, the pressure in the tank is sent up to several atmospheres with increased levels of oxygen. This is useful in treating decompression sickness (the bends), carbon monoxide poisoning, and maybe some nonhealing wounds.
It sits in an unused part of the hospital, but I can understand its charms. It has a sci-fi movie feel to it, and the only way to talk to the person inside is via a telephone -COOL! It makes you think of pharoahs, pyramids, and immortality. It’s just a plexiglass pressure tank.
Why do people want to live forever? It’s a supreme form of egotism. I rather like the view that being subjected to life is much like playing a round of golf on a municipal course on a sunny Saturday in the spring. It takes patience, a bit of smiling when you don’t want to, and the reflexes to duck when you hear “fore.” If this is life, then heaven is an championship caliber course in prime condition empty behind and ahead of you, with your favorite chosen companions, your stalwarts, playing by your side.
Filed under: Golf and Religion | Tags: Golf, indulgences, out of bounds, roman catholic church, sin
The indulgences are back (link to NYT article). Yup, the indulgences you learned about in world history in high school -the same that drove Martin Luther to nail his grievances to bring about the Protestant Reformation. Its absolution for sin that you can purchase from the Roman Catholic Church which works to intercede with the heavenly authorities to take a few years out of slow roasting. It lets you cut line in Purgatory. It turns Heaven into another place where you have to grease the maitre de’s palm.
To me, its a sign of the times. You can buy anything if you have enough green, and this includes avoiding punishment in the afterlife. But what if you did something awful and you were poor? Does the Church take layaway on your soul?
This is why golf appeals to me. No matter who you are, out of bounds means stroke and distance. The red stakes means you get to drop for a stroke. Honor really means something on the hallowed greens. You can’t buy a scratch handicap. You play where you lie.
