I humbly submit this wish list to whomever has the luxury of extra time to read my poor blog. These are things I wish for when I am overworked, tired, or blue. I’ll put some bath salts into a tub of hot water, light some scented candles, pour some Mountain Dew into some rosé wine (the Pink Zinfandel), turn on some Peabo Bryson, and then close my eyes…

Top 10 Wish List

1. Porsche 911 Turbo in Darth Vader Black

2. Peace on Earth

3. Bacon without consequences

4. Private Clone Army

5. Book and movie deal about my life, be on Oprah.

6. Goodwill to man and his helpmate.

7. Lust without consequences, germs, or wifi.

8. Ability to transform myself into the shape of various animals, inanimate objects, and cars.

9. Elimination of flatulence as a source of humor

10. 2-handicap