Filed under: NaNoWriMo, Naturalism, golf culture, golf literature | Tags: chick lit, memoir, NaNoWriMo, novel writing
The national novel writing month approaches. During this month, the challenge is to complete a 50,000 word novel starting on November 1, 2009 through November 30, 2009. The general daily goal is 1667 words a day. Although I am not suppose to start writing, I have submitted an excerpt for my NaNoWriMo home page which I am submitting here. I chose as the title, abandonner which is the French verb, to abandon. Chick Lit is my genre for NaNoWriMo. It is a topic of interest for me. The inner workings of the woman’s mind and her behavior in a natural setting is an avocation for me. I was the first grandson in a household full of women who pampered and spoiled me back in Korea. This was my Eden. Immigrating to America tore me away from this idyllic state, and the tables are now turned.
This coming month’s effort is dedicated to my deceased grandmother who, it is said, would terrorize the household, sending maids and daughter-in-laws out to the market in search of whatever rare, out of season, imported, or altogether-difficult-to-find fruit, viand, cake, dumpling or morsel that I demanded. I was that important at one time. So here you go, a rare and hopefully tasty tidbit of what is to come draining out of my head:
Parma, Ohio 1975
When I was six, a little Serbian girl fell in love with me. She had alabaster skin with black hair in pixie bangs, and I remember her green eyes staring at me. She always wore a brown knit sweater, a cardigan, that I later found out was made by her grandmother in Serbia. Sometimes she wore a black beret. I was doodling at my desk when she grabbed my hand and dragged me over to her desk. It was late fall and we were all working on Halloween drawings. She handed me a Valentine and kissed me on the cheek and ran away.
We became inseparable that year, the first grade couple of note. We were going to get married. We held hands and ate lunch together and played house with poignant accuracy. Hers was a Serbian household constructed of small wooden furniture and plastic. I mostly did what she told me to do. That Easter, she shared with me a rough bread with a kind of butter she called kajmak. The only time we fought was when I wanted to play ball with the other boys during recess. She would fume and watch with singleminded determination.
Summer came and we promised to see each other in the fall. I lied. She looked sad as we walked down to the school entrance and went opposite ways. She thought it was going to be a summer of separation as our parents did not socialize only to be reunited in the fall. I knew it would be goodbye forever as we were going to move away, but I was rendered mute. When I got home, I was whisked away to a family friend’s to stay the night as our furniture was packed. We left the next morning.
It would be nice to say that I think about her frequently, but that is not true. I hardly think about her at all. If I do, its mostly to wonder if she remembered me and thought about me, and how remarkably sad she must have been that following fall. I decided, in my first grade mind, to not dwell on such sad matters and move forward. If this sadness made me heavy with regret, it would be a rejection of it to let me be light again. But I do think about her, and it was thirty five years later that I met her again…
Filed under: Golfist Art, Golfist Wintertime Diversions, Naturalism, golf culture | Tags: brushes, David Hockney, iphone app
As I have said, the iPhone brings out the creativity in individuals in ways that are unmatched by any other personal gadget. It has become the screen of choice. I have been playing with the iPhone app Brushes which let’s you create compelling artwork. David Hockney recently featured in the NYTimes now does much of his art on the iPhone. Several New Yorker covers have been created on iPhone by Jorge Columbo (link).
My latest piece was done in bed while watching the Yankees lose to the Angels. It’s my view to the right. More to come, but this device does not cease to amaze me and a tablet device will become de rigeur among creative people.
The golf season is over in Iowa. It may be nice this weekend, but flu from the swines have cut short any idea of swinging into a 35 degree wind chill day. Thus, I have decided to try my hand at novel writing. I came across a post about NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month, link here) which is a challenge to all the unpublished authors to write a 50,000 word novel in one month (or 1667 words a day).
Wow -a medical drama? Wry observations about golf? NO WAY. I asked myself, “What would make me the most money in the shortest amount of time and that means getting onto Oprah’s couch and rubbing my chin and looking serious?”
It means CHICK LIT, baby!
I’ve already set on the title of the novel: “The Abandonner: a Memoir of Regret.” If that doesn’t give you cramps and make you want chocolate, you aren’t a woman! Controversy? Undoubtedly! Best Seller? Dan Brown’s got nothing on me! Who is that masked man? The guy who rocks your Kindle, now come to Papa!
Filed under: My Bidness, Naturalism, golf culture, my golf | Tags: drug pens, gift pens, libertarian, medical device company pens, pharma rules, pharmaceutical gifts
If you accept this pen, it is an implicit endorsement of me.
The federal government cracked down on the allegedly briberous practice of pharmaceutical and medical device companies giving away pens and other swag (Plavix alarm clock anyone?) to physicians, nurses, office staff, and physician’s children. These rules were meant to avoid the impression that physician were endorsing these companies. I had always maintained that I could not be swayed by the giving of a pen, but if the government says so, so be it.
The problem is that now people are hoarding the logo pens. I have my private stash of Viagra pens that I’ll now keep like reliquary pre-embargo Cuban cigars. It was in a fit of libertarian pique that I decided to invert the relationship between Giver of Pens and Taker of Pens.
I decided to have my own pens manufactured, and have been giving them away at a torrid pace. There is no rule against my giving these pens to the drug and device sales reps -I tell them to drop them off wherever.
Filed under: Golf and Religion, Naturalism, golf culture, golf mysticism, golf proverbs
If the Old Testament, hellfire Christians are correct, then the best I can expect is to be in a line with quadrillions of people ahead of me, a line that includes Gandhi, Socrates, the Buddha, the entire pre-Columbian Aztec nation, most everyone who has ever lived in Marin County, aborted fetuses (each wearing an original sin pin on a simple gray smock), spilled semen (reconstituted as hopping demi-beings with whiplike tails, wearing half a black tee shirt with Onan in globby white letters), and a couple of my high school teachers. We’re all waiting to get processed and sent down a large hole in the clouds. We entertain each other with stories about our lives. I’m surrounded by a couple of billion demi-people who claim some relationship to me…
Filed under: Golfist Cinema, Naturalism, golf food | Tags: cannibal, Cormac McCarthy, The Road, The Road Movie, Top Ten, top ten recipes from the road, Weinstein, zombie
The Road is an important book, a big book, an Oprah book. It is now a Weinstein production, and soon we’ll be inundated with The Road publicity. As much as I like the book, I dread the movie. All reports are that it takes a book so hard to read into a movie that is miserably difficult to watch. Then again, it could be a great big fail and turn out to be just another zombie movie.
Thinking about this, I twittered my top ten recipes from The Road:
- Lady Fingers
- Hush Babies
- Mock Roast Turkey
- Nice Piece of Ass
- Babyback Ribs
- UnMystery Meat
- Chewy Tubes Cormac n Cheese
- Really Sloppy Joe
- Meat and No Potatoes
- Roadkill Haggis
Filed under: Golf and Religion, HAC, Naturalism, golf culture, golf mysticism, golf philosophy | Tags: golf mental process, golf mystery, golf swing, golfism, HAC, mystical golf, zen golf
The 2009 HAC was played yesterday with the highest attendance ever. The teams were composed of an A, B, C, D level player and played on a 6/6/6 format of individual, shamble, and scramble format based on the difficulty of the hole. Waveland offered a challenging, classic layout and it was spiced up by a torrential downpour around midday.
My round of 76, with help from my team on the shambles and scrambles, was a bit of a revelation. I had six birdies, four of which occurred on an individual or shamble hole. I was playing in a different place with no fear or thought. I was possessed of a great awareness and presence, but had no definite perception of space or time. It was just ball and myself, and a pleasant time moving through the grass. Every component of my game was functioning, and even the triple and double bogies that occurred during the downpour were snap hooks out of bounds with a slippery grip, and I played after stroke and distance bogey and par on those holes. The putting was just simply perfectly dependable with an occasional long putt going in.
I hope this lasts through the rest of the season. I attribute some of this to a book I read the night before the tournament -Zen Golf: Mastering the Mental Game by Joseph Parent (link). Will keep you updated.
We won by the way, thanks to the efforts of MD, TB, and TW. Thanks to all!
Addendum: 8/16/2009
Here is the HAC trophy, also known as the Wedgie, sitting alone among my wife’s numerous tennis trophies.
It is known as the wedgie for its features below:
I saw a movie with the family last night -it featured two of my favorites -Ramen and Brittany Murphy. Ramen is not just the dried cup noodles which are taste like hot water poured on nacho chips. It is an art form and the Japanese rightly elevate it to something akin to martial arts and artisanal cheese making. The secret recipes are closely held family jewels and Brittany Murphy shows up asking for them. She is largely overlooked currently, but I think she is one of the most important actresses of our times and would like to see more of her in cinema. Clearly, the director didn’t know how to use her potent dramatic range, but she gave it all she could. I give the ramen 4 stars out of 5, Brittany 3, and the movie a solid 3 stars.
Filed under: Naturalism | Tags: fetish, flo, progressive insurance girl, stephanie courtney
This is where hitting 40 meets the twilight zone. Sex is thrown at you a million different ways on television, the internet, at the mall, and on your cellphone, but the brain has a twisted way of dealing with nerves that have been stimulated to depletion. With the passing of Farah Fawcett, so went large market sex symbols. Megan Fox just isn’t so foxy after seeing her on everything but the cereal box. Nope -it’s Flo the Progressive Insurance Girl who makes me smile. I thought I was losing my mind, but it turns out, I am not alone (link here).
She’s not even that pretty, and its alarming how your attention is riveted by the very, very weird vibe emanating from the screen when she’s on. By outing myself on this, I hope to exorcise myself of it. I feel very, very dirty and underinsured.
The garden is crammed full of tomatoes, sweet corn, giant pumpkins, beans, peas, cantaloupe, watermelon, and zucchini squash. The vine plants I am allowing to escape the cage. Iowa has perfect growing conditions during the summer for vegetables.
